Speaking in Remembrance of the deceased
A Guide for Speakers

You have been invited to offer of remembrance at the funeral liturgy for a person close to you. This is a great honour and responsibility. This Guide is offered to help you plan your remembrance and deliver it well.

For Catholics, the funeral liturgy is not primarily about the person who has died, but about our faith in the life, saving death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. During the funeral liturgy, we pray for our deceased and commit them to God’s mercy. Of course, we remember the life of our loved ones during the funeral liturgy, but we do so specifically in the context of Faith – marking the end of the deceased’s faith journey, which began at Baptism. Everything said during the funeral liturgy is said in the context of faith and it is because of this that  any remembrance offered must be about the deceased’s life with God, the ways the person was faithful to their Baptism. The remembrance is not the place to list accomplishments of summarize the deceased’s life story.

The following items are intended to be used as guidelines for the speaker of the words of remembrance:

While preparing and delivering the words of remembrance, be aware to pray. Pray that you will do honour to your loved one’s memory, and that your words will be a witness to faith, and a blessing to your friends and family.

If you have been asked to offer a remembrance, but are unaccustomed to public speaking, or are concerned   that your emotions may hinder your ability to speak, do not hesitate to respectfully decline the task, or have someone share the task with you.

Words of remembrance at the funeral liturgy are to be respected as an option within the Rite. In some circumstances it may be preferable that only the Presider speaks the words of remembrance.

Generally, there should be only one person to speak.

The reflection should be about the deceased person’s human qualities, including their life of faith, and how these qualities can inspire the congregation. The reflection should focus on how the deceased could best be remembered and how our relationship with the deceased is maintained, even in death and how we look forward to meeting again.

The words of remembrance should speak honestly and compassionately, reflecting the circumstances of the life of the deceased.

The reflection should be a reasonable length eg 5-7 minutes.

The reflection should be written out ahead of time and where possible reviewed with the Presider beforehand.

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How can we best lead others in prayer?
There are countless insights to what prayer is: a response to God’s presence, a relationship with God, communicating with God,….   What we need to keep in mind when preparing to lead others in prayer is that prayer is about connecting with the divine, leading others to an awareness of that connection, and communicating with the divine.

Prayer, then, is not a means to an end. It’s not an introduction to a meeting. And it is not a showcase if latest technology. With regard the last point, technology may well be used during prayer. It needs, however, to be used in the context of what prayer is.

We suggest that an appropriate format for prayer is to begin with an invitation to prayer. The leader of the prayer can say, for example, “Before we discuss the matters at hand, let’s join in prayer.” 

A moment of silence is given to allow people to enter an awareness of God’s presence ‘where two or more are gathered’. Prayer, in the Catholic tradition, then begins with the sign of the cross.

A Scripture reading can be followed by an inspirational piece such as a reflection or a visual presentation, for example PowerPoint, can be used to engage people in reflecting on God’s power, presence, love, or whatever other nature appropriate to the purpose for the people gathering.

Prayerful response with focus on the divine, not on the inspirational piece itself, is then invited. This can be an invitation to contemplation, communal prayer or spontaneous prayer. It is worth keeping in mind that many find spontaneous shared prayer difficult.

In the case of spontaneous prayer, it helps to prepare a few people beforehand. One-sentence prayers of thanks are effective: “thank you Lord for the rain,” “thank you lord for our being together,”  “thank you Lord for your Word,”  thank you for our children,” that sort of thing.

A song, a common prayer of praise or worship, or a common familiar prayer such as the Lord’s Prayer can then be unite each person’s prayer. It is appropriate to conclude as we began, with the sign of the cross.

The process of: 
INVITATION to prayer
A moment  of SILENCE
SCRIPTURE and a possible INSPIRATIONAL piece
Prayerful RESPONSE
COMMAN PRAYER, and CONCLUSION
is our recommendation to you and your staff for leading people in prayer.

Our prayer for you, as you exercise your role as Religious Education Coordinator, echoes the prayer of St Paul ; that you, being rooted and established in love, grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. And may others come to better know God’s love for them through you!